Well, today was pretty uneventful, but I'm writing because I need to put out these gag Valentines

And now, your funny Valentines:

and for the sake of filler, here are some lyrics:

The heart is something you can't control
We either choose to follow or be left on our own
So we're leaving here on a less-traveled road
As desperate cries grow louder, I know we're getting close, getting close
Rise Against - Voices off Camera

Black 6, out.

Wednesday, I got to go out on a small mission and be the HMMWV driver.  Not too bad, except that the vehicle that I was using had slow acceleration.  Before we went out, one of the other soldier gave me a quick refresher course on the vehicle, some things to be aware of, and techniques for ramming other vehicles out of our way.

One of the things that he told me to be wary of was children running out into the street, and people running out into the street.  There are a number of things screwed up about these situations.  Let me run through them.  First off, there are parents that will call their kids across the street in an attempt to get them hit.  In one of the other provinces, this happened and the child was killed.  All the parent wanted was $2000.

Next, due to a general laziness out here, an adult getting hit by a car pretty much means that they will never work again.  Imagine insurance fraud in the US, and realize that out here, no one is really going to investigate, nor is the bad publicity worth not paying.  Plus the person will pretty much get free health care for a while.

We roll out of the base, and I've finally gotten my vehicle to a good speed.  We drive down the middle of the roads like we own the place, primarily because we do, and all civilian vehicles stay out of our way. 

As soon as we hit the paved surface, I see this little girl come running from the left side of the street, so I slam on the brakes, giving everyone else in the vehicle a nice case of whiplash.  Meanwhile the child has run up to the point where her toes are at the edge of the street, and she stops and waves to us. Damn kid.  She knew what she was doing.

Anyway, I finally get back up to speed, and we go out and do our little mission.  Afterward, the idea was to haul ass back to the compound.  I'm the third vehicle in the convoy, so by the time I get somewhere, the street is usually pretty clear.  Except this time, some old man decides to step out in between me and the vehicle ahead of me.  By this time, I'm road raging, and after discovering my horn earlier (the soldiers told me to be sure to use it), I honk at the guy, who simply looks at me and continues to walk.  I BARELY swerve around him, but I wouldn't have cared if I had hit him.  Looking back, I really wish that I had let the mirror catch him.

Ok, enough about running people over.  Here's your funny valentine:

I can think of two female friends that need to pass this one out.

Black 6, out.

First let me say that I just received "Ten Thousand Fists" by Disturbed, and it's awesome.  "Ten Thousand Fists" and "I'm Alive" rock. I always find that Disturbed's music drives some type of fire inside of me.  Now, on to the post.

A new shipment of mail came in.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  Some magazines, stuff from Ranger Joe's, stuff from Barnes and Noble, and 4 Victoria's Secret catalogs. 

WTF!

Four catalogs!  I order one gift through you people and this is what I get.  Damn.  I used to wonder why guys would receive this stuff all the time.  I mean, question their reason for having it, as though they used the magazines as some substitute for softcore porn, or an idea book of things they could use to find the gift to win over the girlfriend that they don't have (yet), or even where to find the "I'm sorry" gift for a wife.  Now, I realize that it's just spam.

VS also reminds me of one of my exes.  She lost her wallet at a wedding, right before coming to visit me at Fort Benning.  I was busy with Mortar Leader most of the day, so I gave her my credit card to "use if you needed some incidentals," like food, a cab, hell, even get her hair done or something.  What possessed her to spend $200+ at VS in one day I will never know.  I actually think it was closer to $300.  It was interesting because I has just started classifying her as an expense category in MS money.  There was "taxes", "dining out", and "Christina" who I had previously put under "Dating expenses," but decided that one was more for when you're dating women, trying to find someone.  You can probably imagine the feeling I had when those two expenses dropped to $0.

Finally, here is your funny valentine:

I want my $300 back.

Black 6, out.

Things are pretty slow out here.  Meanwhile, it's that month again.  Black history month?  Yeah, that, too.  But no one dreads learning about the guy that invented the stop light.  No people, it's the month in which Valentine's Day occurs.

For those of you that are unaware, this holiday has just as many ties to Paganism as Christmas and Easter.  However, I'm not here to educate you.  First off, I'm here to remind the people that my forget about it until the last minute.  These are the same types of people that forgot about Mother's Day until they saw me ordering stuff online.  The same type of peolpe that have watched the NBA all-star game, instead of going out. 

Remember, this thing occurs on a Tuesday, so plan around work accordingly.  If something's coming up, do your special thing on the weekend BEFORE, not after.  Before is cute.  After allows her to talk to her friends about what they did, and then gauge your performance against the hyped up stories that they tell.

Some of you may be single, like me.  Not to worry.  Men, simply look at your bank account and smile with the knowldge that it will not get any lower.  Women, I don't know what to tell you.  Start looking, I guess:

I will be posting some gag V-day cards in upcomming entries, but for now:

Black 6, out. 

On thursday, my workout partner was a no show.  Quite sad, because that was a light day, too.  I still did my thing, starting out with 28 minutes on the elliptical runner.  Got the heart rate up to 84% om my max (max being 220- age[24]).

He did show up friday.  A little late, but he showed.  I was halfway through the first circuit when he arrived, so I started over again.  He actually had a dip in for the first half of the first circuit.  Problem is, if I remember correctly, niccotine causes blood vessles to restrict.  This makes it harder to replenish the oxygen in your muscles.  Personally, I recover very quickly.  Him, not so much.

Sunday was an interesting day.  First off, the power went out in the morning, and took out my alarm clock.  I ended up sleeping through the morning meeting, which is never useful to me anyway.  More importantly, I was too late for eggs-to- order, so I didn't get my scrambled eggs with cheese.

Later that night, I got reacquainted with the sewing machine, and finally put the SF patch on my right shoulder (I'm entitlaed to it because m past and current jobs both have me workng for the Combined Joint Special Operations Task Force, CJSOTF).  I first learned to sew after graduating from Airborne school, and needed to sew my wings onto my uniforms before returning to West Point.  I have also been sewing velcro onto certain patches in order to prepare my ACU's for when I get back to Italy.

I swear that the sewing machine is one of the most fascinating things to me, or it was until I figured out how it worked.

Black 6, out.

I almost killed an MP today:

Him:  Hey, LT.  When do you go to the gym?
Me:  7 at night.  Why do you ask?
Him:  Mind if I work out with you.
Me:  No problem, I'll see you there.

Such an innocent conversation.  At 7, I walk into the gym, and to my surprise, he is already there, stretching out.  Not bad.  I never stretch, but at least he was ambitious.  It was cute.  Cute, like the chickens that we killed in Ranger School.

First off, Here's the workout:

(Done as a circuit)

Dumbbell Incline Press

Incline Situps

Vertical pulldowns

Leg Press

Bench Press 21’s

Crunches

Shoulder Press

Romanian dead lifts

It's a week one workout, which means circuits.  You do one set of each exercise (8 reps), one right after the other, and then you get to rest.  Repeat until you have done 3 sets of each.  Some exercises you may not recognize.  Bench press 21's are where you get on the bench press and bring the weight down to your chest.  You then bring it halfway up 7 times.  The you go through a full range bench press 7 times.  Then you go from all the way up,to halfway down 7 times.  That's one set.  Romanian dead lifts are where you stand with your feet shoulder width apart and bend over and grab a weight that is down by your feet, without bending your knees.  You then stand up, until you are erect, and then lower the weight back down to the ground, all without bending your knees, while keeping the weight near your legs the whole time.

At the end of the workout, he actually said, "We're not doing this again tomorrow, are we?"

No, my friend.  Tomorrow is a different type of torture.  Just wait until he feels a week 2 workout.

Other news.  Well, I will be staying out here until March 1st.  Woo Hoo!$$!  Now, all I need to do is have my unit forget about me until June.  See, if you are deployed for over 12 months, for each month over, you get an additional $1000.  April + May + June = $3000 I'm a greedy bastard.

For those of you that REALLY know me, I've probably already broadcast that tomorrow is day 300 for me.  Not just for the deployment, mind you.  Something else, too.

Black 6, out.

Where to start on this entry.  Well, first off, I'm hungry as hell.  I need to somehow open a bag of pretzels really quietly, because my roommate is asleep.

Second.  Homework sucks.  For those of you that do not know, I am currently enrolled in the UMUC grad student program (distance learning, obviously).  I'm working on my Masters degree in Management with  specialization in Information Assurance.  I am so looking forward to writing papers. 

Finally, aside from the buns issue, you may have noticed a lack of complaints about my job.  Guess what.  Once that major left, I actually got to do real work.  I mean, real stuff.  Now, there are gripes, but they are not directly related to this place, just the support elements that I have to deal with at our larger bases.

Well, here's the kicker.  173rd wants to move my redeployment to an earlier date, with very short notice.  My thing is, if I have to have a bad job here or in Italy, I would rather have the job here because it pays $1200 more a month.  Combine this with the fact that I would rather not deal with my unit, and I'm going to see how many people I can get to throw the brakes on this thing.  I mean, there is so much stuff that I am in the middle of, and would have liked to have had time to stop, or just not start. 

There is a term for when someone who is kidnapped begins to identify with the kidnapper.  Whatever it is, I probably have it right now.  Monkey Wrench + 2

Black 6, out.

Okay, so here's a new entry, because Pravda9 reminded me of something.  If you remember my entries from late December, then you'll remember the Major that would bother the hell out of me over stupid things.  Well, praise Cthulhu, because he left 2 weeks ago, and my life has been filled with almost meaningful work.

Anyway, the other day, we had one of our operational meetings, and I put out my stuff dealing with supply and logistics issues.  A few minutes later, when a Master Sergeant (the PRT Sergeant Major) was briefing his part, he asked "and who's in charge of the mess hall?"  Being the S-4, somehow that also becomes my area (because of Class I?), so I pipe up.

"Yesterday, there were cold hot dog buns out."
"45 minutes into the meal."  A major chimes in.  This major is the other Major's replacement, but this one is not nearly as annoying.

WTF?!!?  Here's the deal: hot buns are put out and people grab them.  The more we put out, the more they grab.  The cooks then go to the storage container to get more.  The first time that I got a complaint about cold buns, I told the cooks not to put out more once the hot ones were done.  Apparently, this was forgotten, and people again had to touch frozen buns.

I look right at the MSG, and say "Well, we do have a microwave, so that could be used to warm your buns."  I'll admit, I said it in a slightly smart ass way.  You would have thought I had told them to heat them on a burning cross.  The look they gave me was worse than the time that I told them that I was planning to serve MRE's for lunch if we lost another cook.  I think that they wanted to cry.  There was just silence.  Then I said, "I'll look into it," which means that I will tell the cooks not to put out cold buns after the hot ones are gone.

After the meeting, I was talking with another 1LT who had been up at Anaconda, a FOB that is in a more deserted place than we are.

"Did you see the look that they gave me when I told them to warm their own buns?"
"Yeah."
"These people are spoiled.  A few weeks ago, I told them that we may have to go to an MRE for lunch, and they nearly cried."
"Seriously.  They should go up to Anaconda.  We had hot dogs everyday for 3 straight weeks."
"Damn."

I think that I'll bring that up at the next meeting.  "We received a huge Class I shipment of food this morning, but it's nothing but wieners.  In order to make a dent in this, we're going to have to cook wieners everyday for the next 2-3 weeks.  The more wieners that you take, the faster we can get through this ordeal, but everyone should try and grab their fair share of wieners."

Too bad I can't say "wieners" that many times with a straight face, ESPECIALLY once I see the look on their faces.

Black 6, out.

 Hmmmmm.  Not really much to talk about.  I haven't had a soda in over two weeks.  Not because there isn't any.  In the morning, I have a cup of coffee.  Then it's water for the rest of the day, until I work out.  Then I have Endurox R4, and a protein shake afterward.

I use cocoa butter on my skin, and I have a space heater near my bed.  I think the combination made me hungry in my sleep a few nights ago.

I'm doing more and more time on the elliptical machine.  25-30 minutes every other day.  Today, I wondered what I was thinking about during those 30 minutes.  I still have no idea.  None at all.  I look at things.  The data from the machine.  My heart rate.  Someone else in the gym.  I don;t know.  But, I do know that I am awesome, and I'm starting to gain some more definition in my abs.  Don't get me wrong, I have good abs.  It's just that when I was younger, they wee a lot more defined.  I also realize that I was dehydrated a lot more then, too.  I didn't drink water like I do now.  So you know, when you see people in magazines and bodybuilding competitions, they are normally dehydrated, because it makes them look more defined.

We've been getting some interesting weather out here lately, which has produced some nice scenery.  For some reason, I took pictures, probably because someone always asks me about the mountains out here.  So, without further delay, here they are (taken over the course of 2 days)

Black 6, out.

Okay, its time for the real post (I guess the not real one was that awesome blonde joke).  Today, I decided look at what is in the Animal Stak that I take.  Here is a list, as well as a link to the different sources, and choice quotes that I may have pulled out, and my comments.

1. Natural Test Complex
   
   
   
   • Longjack Exract Complex - Also known as Tongkat Ali.  Longjack is believed to stimulate the production of endogenous testosterone and to reduce the levels of bound and metabolically inactive testosterone in the body.  Athletes looking to improve performance will benefit from Longjacks ability to boost testosterone, protect and boost immune function, enhance muscle tone and strength, as well as its ability to reduce body fat levels.  It is believed to achieve this feat through the Leutinizing Hormone (LH) pathway. Consequently, users of Longjack commonly report an association between Longjack administration and increased feelings of well-being, increased sex drive, improved joint health, greater recovery from exercise of intense but appropriate duration, improved mental focus, and improved immune system function and reductions in body-fat.  Longjack has been used traditionally as an aphrodisiac and libido booster.
     
   • Tribulus Extract Complex - Tribulus (puncture vine) is a vine that has been used as a general tonic (energy) and herbal treatment for impotence, but is found primarily in dietary supplements marketed for increasing testosterone levels in bodybuilders and power athletes.  The idea behind tribulus is that it may increase testosterone levels indirectly by raising blood levels of another hormone, luteinizing hormone (LH). LH is a hormone produced by the pituitary gland and plays a role in regulating natural testosterone production and serum levels.  In some cultures, the tribulus terrestris plant has been used as a "tonic" to in crease energy levels and treat sexual dysfunction (usually in males). In animals, tribulus may stimulate "mounting" behavior.

2. Growth Hormone Secretagogues
   
   
   
   • Mucuna Pruriens Extract - Velvet bean has a long history of traditional use in Brazil and India as an aphrodisiac. Clinical studies in India have validated that the plant does indeed have aphrodisiac activity. It also has reported with anabolic and growth hormone stimulant properties.  In one study, oral intake of the seeds in 56 human males was able to improve erection, duration of coitus, and post-coital satisfaction after only four weeks of treatment.
   
   

   Everything from this line to the next one isn't really that important to the point of this post.  Feel free to skip.

   
   
   
   

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3. 
   
   
   
   • Alpha Glycerylphosphorylcholine - The Alpha GPC that is used in nutritional supplements is derived from soy lecithin. Alpha-GPC acts as a precursor of acetylcholine which may allow for greater strength output during intense exercise and physical activities. In addition, GPC may improve memory and brain function, balance and coordination, and increase growth hormone secretion.
   
   
4. Vasodilator Complex - A vasodilator is a substance that causes blood vessels in the body to become wider by relaxing the smooth muscle in the vessel wall, or vasodilation. This will reduce blood pressure (since there is more room for the blood) and might allow blood to flow around a clot.
   
   
   
   • Arginine Alpha-Ketoglutarate - Because AKG seems to be involved in amino acid synthesis and protein availability, many athletes supplement with AKG as a way to increase muscle mass and strength.  In animal studies, AKG supplementation increases levels of arginine and glutamine in skeletal muscles and stimulates immune system function compared to animals not receiving AKG. The immunomodulatory properties found with AKG suggest that it may enhance host-defense mechanisms, particularly during injury and acute stress.  Although the precise mechanism is unknown, AKG treatment decreases muscle protein catabolism (breakdown) and/or increases protein synthesis, in addition to promoting wound healing.
     
   • Arginine Ketoisocaproate - Couldn't find anything really specific on this, but it is used in supplements to boos Nitric Oxide levels.
   
   
5. Aromatase Inhibitors-[I know it talks a lo about breast cancer, but the important part is the precention of extrogen production.
   
   
   
   • Calcium D-Glucarate - D-Glucarate is a naturally occurring substance that is not present in sufficient amounts to counteract natural and external carcinogens. By supplementing D-Glucarate as the calcium salt, we can get a long lasting effect of Glucarate, and this effect is to favor the body’s natural defense mechanism for eliminating carcinogens. Without Glucarate, the body cannot efficiently eliminate these cancer-causing agents because of the interference from glucuronidase.  There is tumor inhibition shown for breast, prostate, lung, and colon cancer, and the mechanism of action is identical in each...there is a decrease in glucuronidase activity, a decrease in carcinogen level (because the body eliminates the carcinogen) and a decrease in tumorogenesis.
     
   • Diindolylmethane (DIM) - 3,3'-diindolylmethane, or DIM is a compound which is derived from the digestion of indole-3-carbinol, found in several vegetables such as broccoli and cauliflower. DIM has antiandrogenic properties, which can potentially be exploited in treatments of prostate cancer and in breast cancer cells.
   
   
6. DHT Blockers - It is suspected that DHT is the primary contributing factor in most cases of male-pattern baldness.
   
   
   
   • Beta-sitosterol - is one of a group of organic compounds found in plants that, alone and in combination with similar plant sterols, reduces blood levels of cholesterol.  The reduction of cholesterol levels appears to be because beta-sitosterol blocks absorption of cholesterol.
     
   • Saw Palmetto Extract - The European colonists learned of the use of saw palmetto. It was used as a crude extract for at least 200 years for various conditions including asthenia (weakness), recovery from major illness, and urogenital problems.  Though men taking saw palmetto may develop mild nausea, reduced libido, or erectile dysfunction, the rate of such problems is clinically and statistically far less common than in men taking drugs to treat BPH symptoms, based on the JAMA meta-analysis cited above.  [Thank goodness for the first few items in this supplement.]
     
   • Pygeum Africanum - Today, pygeum is a popular herbal supplement in several parts of the world for benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH), an enlargement of the prostate gland that can cause urination problems.  The bark appears to work by reducing inflammation, promoting urination, and ridding the prostate of cholesterol deposits that can occur with BPH.
   
   
7. Cortisol Inhibitor Complex
   
   
   
   • Acetyl L-Carnitine - ALCAR has a broad range of uses including combination with alpha lipoic acid to comprise a patented formulation that has been evidenced to "rejuvenate" the mitochondria of aging mice in studies conducted by Bruce Ames and others.  Accordingly, acetyl-L-carnitine has potential as a life extension supplement probably capable of improving the quality and possibily also extending the average life-span of humans. Other attributed uses for ALCAR include using it as a treatment for depression (250 mg per day for several weeks) and for clearing plaque/fatty deposits out of the veins and arteries.
     
   • Phosphatidylserine - Phosphatidylserine (PS) is a phospholipid, a type of fat found in every cell in the body. It is particularly concentrated in the brain, where it has the important task of keeping cell membranes fluid, flexible and primed for nutrient absorption.  Research indicates that when PS levels naturally decline with age, so too does the ability to learn, remember things and stay alert.  [The rest of the article goes on to talk about how it helps the old.  Nothing really big for young people like me.]
   
   
8. Liver Detoxifiers
   
   
   
   • Lysophosphatidylcholine - In plasma of animal species, appreciable amounts of lysophosphatidylcholine are formed by a specific enzyme system, lecithin:cholesterol acyltransferase (LCAT), which is secreted from the liver. The enzyme catalyses the transfer of the fatty acids of position sn-2 of phosphatidylcholine to the free cholesterol in plasma, with formation of cholesterol esters and of course of lysophosphatidylcholine [It does stuff].
     
   • Milk Thistle Extract - Conditions including cirrhosis, viral and alcohol-induced hepatitis, and fatty infiltration of the liver have all shown significant improvement when treated with an extract of Milk Thistle. Even the poisons most dangerous to the liver, those contained in the Deathcap mushroom, can be effectively detoxified with Milk Thistle extract.  Milk Thistle is highly effective as an antioxidant herb, particularly with its ability to protect the liver from free radical damage. Its component Silymarin is at least ten times more potent as an antioxidant than Vitamin E. 

A lot of stuff, but my main concern was with the first two ingredients.  On my own, I determined, long ago, that if I take this, I MUST go work out.  MUST.  This just confirms it, a well as a number of other suspiscions that I had about it.  This also explains why when I took this the other night and was unable to lift (your fault, Mani), I was so pumped up, and strangely angry.  Seriously, I got this stuff is for working out, but now that I think about it, the Squad Leader that recommended it was a bit of a man-whore.  

It also seems that I am lowering my chances of going bald or having cancer, too.  Yipee.  I can live longer and look better, all in order to reap the other benefits of taking it

About halfway through this entry, I took it and went to work out.

Black 6, out.