Well, It's time for a new home.  Xanga, you were very good to me.  It may be time to start again.  Not much has been happening here. For those of you that want to keep reading about my exploits, you can find me at  http://black6x.blogspot.com.  Feel free to add me as a follower there.

People change throughout their lives.  Usually it's due to some life experience or enlightenment through knowledge or something.  "Life Changing," they'll call it.  I didn't really have one of those times in my life.  However, for some reason, back in 2001 or 2002, I changed as a person.  I won't go into the whole story, because there's not much to it.  Basically, a person that was above me said, "Pat, you need to be amiable."  Looking back, I should have ignored that bullshit.  Kristen may remember part of this guy from her Beast.  Unfortunately, what she saw was him as he was dying.

What I then became was a "nicer person."  Unfortunately, that kindness was some level of stupidity.  Literally, for the next 6 years of my life, I encountered people that I should have gutted, but didn't.  There was a missing level of fear and "is this guy stable" that should have surrounded me.  Masochistic tendencies in training seemed to die off.  The "thing" that I was just fell asleep.  I actually spent years trying to figure out how to bring it back and harness it.  What I quickly learned is that no one has written a book on how to harness your rage, and if they have, it's not on Amazon.com.

He made comebacks every once in a while, but it would take extreme circumstances.  I remember in the mountain phase of Ranger School.  Basically, at night, with NODs on, you can't really tell when someone is talking to you, so we had a rule that if you were giving someone directions, you would touch them.  At some point, on top of a mountain, some guy decided not to do this, and my Ranger buddy, Bill, asked him who he was talking to.  They guy apparently got pissed, and threatened to punch Bill.  I then told him that if he touched bill, I would beat the shit out of him.  The conversation quickly ended.  The vitriol that I could summon was wonderful.  I remember a guy pissing me off during a jump (parachuting), and, after seeing him land hard, hoping that he was dead.  I'm pretty sure I tried to give someone food poisoning for stealing chocolate milk from me.  Why get revenge, when a step further makes them fear being "even."

Due to some recent events, that guy is making a comeback.  It was a me that had very little conversational tact.  Fuck sugar-coating, your idea is fucking retarded.  I'm not sure if it's temporary or not, but it is the reason that I'm up at 2 in the morning typing a blog entry.  The more my mind runs things down, the angrier it gets.   I'm really trying to ensure that it stays around this time.  What created this person then is pretty much what brought him back.  It's great to see life go full-fucking-circle, isn't it. 

Yeah, I'll be "that guy" for at least a bit.  Things are going to be blunt and honest, so if you really want that, ask me a question.  If you REALLY want that, ask me a dumb fucking question.

Amiable, my ass.