Working the weird hours that I do has left me unable to get entirely unpacked for the past 3 months.  It's just that I have to sleep at weird hours, and so i have to ensure that I'm out cold by a certain time, or my body resets as though it had gotten sleep the previous night.  However, thanks to certain events, I had a 4-day weekend this weekend, So I have been using the time to get some things done.

One of the biggest things was unpacking the boxes of clothing and other things that were just sitting in a room.  Some of it was Army related, but a lot of it was just clothing.  Going through it, I decided that there were things that I really didn't need, so I set those aside for donation to the Salvation Army.  Some stuff was pretty obvious (doesn't fit, never fit, can't wear this in normal society, etc.), and there were things that I knew that I was going to get rid of, but never got around to.  The hard part was the things that were in the "questionable" category; the question being "Do I ever actually wear this, have I worn this recently, or will I ever wear this?"  It's hard, because I don't really care about fashion and trends, and I'm not someone to only wear something once, so it's not like I keep track of what I wear.  In order to help me answer this question, I am enlisting a system talked about in the book, "A Perfect Mess".  When talked about in the book, it is used on files, but this works just the same.

Here's how it works.  You hang up all of your clothing (in sections for shirts, pants, etc).   Whenever you take something out of the closet, you have to pull from the right side (technically, you can take whatever shirt you want).  When you return stuff, you put it on the left side of the section.   Now, if the shirt that is on the right is one that you can't or don't want to wear, you skip it, and go to the next item.  Over time, the most used items will continuously be moved to the left, while the least used items will make their way, and probably remain, on the right side.  Of course, there will be clothing that isn't worn as much, but is perfectly fine (such as suits, tuxedos, etc.).  After a while, you'll notice that shirt or pants that you NEVER seem to wear, and you can mark that for the donation pile.

Black 6, out.

I recently remembered this story from very long ago.  It actually happened during my junior year at West Point.  I believe that it was late spring/early summer, and I had just gone back to using cocoa butter as a moisturizer.  Anyway, I guess it was a slightly warm daym and physicas class had just started, when the guy that sat next to me (about 2 feet away, maybe) says out loud:

"Does anyone smell donuts?" 

OMG!!  Without missing a beat, I immediately said no, and kind of ignored him.  However, I guess he must have really wanted donuts or something, because he was SNIFFING THE AIR!!  

"I'm sure that I smell donuts."

"I don't smell anything," I say.  At the same time, I'm just hoping that he doesn't locate where the delicious smell is coming from.  The poor guy must have been hungry for the entire class.

Black 6, out.

Not much has happened in the past two days.  This is all I've
got for you

I've been laughing at this for
days.

Black 6, out.

I don't make a lot of phone calls, and even then, there are only a few people that I call, and in no specific order.  Technically, it's in first name, alphabetical, because that's how my phone stores it.  The only people that get done out of order are those who I have specific reasons to talk to, or may have some priority in my life (no one really has that right now).  

One of the times when I can almost be assured to make calls is on a long drive, such as between PA and NYC, or any similar drive or time where there is little that I can do other than talk.  Unfortunately, some people never answer their phone (e.g. Heather and Jane), and my call eventually goes to voice mail, something I despise, since I really have no message to leave.  If I do leave one, it's pretty generic, and speeds up once I approach the finish line:

"Hey...  It's Pat.  Just calling to say hi, and see how you are doing...  I'll be stuck in my car for teh next two hours, so feel free to give me a call.  AlrightTalkToYouLaterBye(click)."

I actually stopped leaving this message for the aforementioned people, (because it's not like it does anything) and I generally won't do it unless I actually expect a call back.  However, I managed to screw this up the other day, while calling a friend.  Let me just give it to you as it unfolds:

"Hey, it's me.  Just calling to see how your test went.  Well, I'll be on teh road for teh next two hours, and them I'm going to bed, and then to work.  Talk to you later.  Bye."  I then hang up the phone, or so I thought.

Now, I'm sitting in my car, staring at the terrible traffic that's sitting in front of me, and all I can think of is the idea of ballistic eradication of the vehicles in front of me.  And I yell out:

"JEEEESUS, GUIDE MY BULLETS!!" (a reference to Joe Rogan's stand-up routine).

"If you would like to hear your message, Press 1."

I guess that I didn't hang up.  And I think I hear the item that I have to press to re-record my message, so I press 2.

"After the beep, begin adding to your message." I think I'm creating more message, rather than a new one, but I decide to just say the message again.  When it gets to the end, I press # which brings up the menu, and then I choose to replay the message.  I listen, and think I'm in the clear, but I'm not too sure, because the messages are basically the same.  Then I stop talking in the recording, and I think I'm good.  And then...

"JEEEESUS, GUIDE MY BULLETS!!" and the second message starts.  Not wanting to hear it all, I press the # key and then 

"Message delivered."

What?!  Noooooo!

Black 6, out

Apparently, people thought that my last post was different from the satirical V-Day posts that I make every year.  I suggest that some of you revisit the archives, starting with the first post.

Generally, I give some advice on how not to screw up the day.  The easiest thing to get kicked on is dinner plans.  Everyone has one of two ideas: cook at home, or dine out.  Now, the cook at home thing doesn't work unless you tie it into the rest of the plan, and won't generally be perceived as cheap on two specific occasions.  The first is if the relationship is relatively new.  You couldn't have made plans anyway, and you might as well not shell out a load of cash.  The second is is the relationship is old, you don't normally cook, and being able to set the menu and time allows other plans to fall into place easily.

On the other end of the spectrum is going out for dinner, something that last minute planning will ultimately fail you during.  This is why I have the best idea that I could think of, and you get it just in time...

For next year, that is.  Right after New Year's Day, call that restaurant that you like, and make a reservation for V-Day.  Now you're all set to go.  Do this even if you are single.  You might end up with a date or something, and the plans will come in handy.  If you end up spending evening playing with your Wii, you can just cancel the reservation, opening the slot for some lucky idiot.

Generally, my advice is geared toward men, and that's because whan women want advice, they call me.  Then they sdon't take the advice, and later I have to hold back an "I told you so," or 6.  In any case, I'm doing the best that I can for you guys.  The only way I feel that I could do more would be by dating your girlfriends myself, which is my advice for next year, so let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Black 6, out.

It's that time of year again, huh.  Fortunately, I work in a noisy factory, sleep during the day, and have put off getting cable until the writer's strike is over.  What this means is that I have missed all of the crappy commercials, sappy advertisements, and guilt-to-men activities that go on every year.  I have also been able to avoid couples, who I assume are only outdoors together during the day.  This could also be due to the fact that I am in Pennsylvania, and unlike NYC, no one walks around.  If I wanted to see a couple, I would have to look inside of someone else's car, or drive to a place where couples would go.

Some of you may have forgotten about the upcoming event, and are now running toward the nearest store or website in hopes that you can get the "perfect" gift.  This is a day generally designed to screw men over.  If you are lucky, you have create good day, which will be forgotten next week.  The worst that you can hope for is some level of damage control that at least lets you break even for the day.  Woe to those who screw this day up, because it's going to be a while before you can fix it. 

I was smart when I made my plans this year, because I made them early.  It took a little bit of work, and everything had to be perfect, but this plan will go exceptionally well, without breaking my wallet.  Here's the plan:

Don't have a girlfriend.

I seemed to have executed this one perfectly.  It's very straight forward, and for most guys, it's very easy to accomplish.  In fact, some find that putting considerable work into getting one only results in the same outcome, anyway, so why try. 

For those of you who are in my shoes, and would like to better your relationship position, I have some sound advice:

Black 6, out.

I was away from the gym for the last quarter of 2007, and finally got back into a routine this month.  The worst part is rebuilding everything.  I don't have to go back to the beginning, but I have to figure out how much I can lift for every exercise.  So, most days are not as great as they should be, since, after 8 exercises at 3-5 sets each, I feel that I haven't pushed myself.  I still have to play it safe.  For example. I went over to the calf raise area and started with 180 lbs.  However, at the end of the sets, I was doing 340, and all I could think was that when I started the exercise, I should have just started at around 320.  It's those days that you feel like you just went in and moved some stuff around, but didn't really get anything accomplished. 

There are those days in the gym where you feel invincible.  Like a machine.  Like an invincible machine.  Where every exercise burns the exact muscles that you are targeting.  It feels so good that you don't want to stop exercising.  I actually got that today.  Unfortunately, I go to the gym after work, which means that I was cutting into sleep.  I'm not using any supplements, but maybe I need some of this:

My goal is to keep my weight where it is or maybe lower it a few pounds, lower my body fat by 4%, better my cardio, and increase my brute strength while not gaining size.  Maybe I should have put an "s" after goal.  I would record and graph my weight, but that amounts to graphing a straight line.

One of the things that I have been is using the rowing machine, which is a very underused machine, now that people like to use treadmills and elliptical runners.  I feel it is a very good exercise, since you have to use the arms, legs (to push and pull), and upper and lower back.  Each Wednesday, I do 5 minutes of rowing, and see how far I get.  Here are the results:

This really goes back to my earlier point.  I would like to say that I am at least starting to taper off after a month, but I would need more of a level curve before I change things.  Since I haven't been on a rowing machine since I was at West Point, I have no idea what I can really do.  **Update** I went to the gym the day after I made this graph.  I could have sworn that I was sucking on the rowing maching, but I ended up with 1339 as my final distance, which continues the improvement trend.  Also, since I haven't taken an actual picture of myself in months, I decided to do that.  Also, with the hard drive crash, I didn't have any:

Black 6, out.

About a month ago, I wrote about my dealings with Experian and trying to get something that was not min removed from my credit report.  This was an ongoing battle, that lasted about 3 or 4 years.  Basically, I would tell them to investigate it, and they would "investigate" and then say the accounts were mine.  Essentially, it went nowhere, and to get them to investigate, I had to provide more evidence.  I contacted the first of the two companies, and confirmed that the account was not mine.  I then asked them to correct this.  Three month later, and nothing had happened.  Furthermore, when I tried to contact the person that I had spoken to, she was on vacation, and to this day has not returned my call.  I then contacted the other company, and after a bit of hoop jumping, got their legal department.  The guy there asked me to fax him a letter with some information, and he then sent me a letter that I could send to the credit company, along with my own letter.  Since I had been working this issue for some time, I decided to be mean in the letter, and made a series of demands, such as them performing a new investigation on the other account (since the scenario was exactly the same), that the provide me with a free updated copy of my credit report, and that they provide me with a copy of their findings so that I could use it as evidence should this bad information appear elsewhere. (I have included the letter at the end of the post).  Essentially, it was a glove slap:

This evening, I got a nice, fat envelope from Experian, with all my demands met.  It makes me wish that I had done this years earlier.  It also makes me wish that I had demanded cake.  Unfortunately, in the exact same mail delivery, I received a letter from a debt collector for a debt that was not mine.  Maybe this creditor is a nice company, and has made a simple mistake.  However, I have no desire to dick-dance around with this, which means I am jumping straight to the mean-letter phase of my effort.  The biggest part of the mean letter is that you must back it up with proper evidence, state exactly why they are wrong, and have reasonable demands.  This allows you to close the argument with one quick strike to the jugular.  Generally, life is a battle of will, and if a company thinks that you will back down, they will try to overpower you.  However, if they perceive the fight to be too big, and/or futile, they stop.  I will include this letter to serve as an example, and if it works, it is a good example.  Oh, and the bold and underlined how it actually appears in the letter.  Yes, I am pretty much telling them not to talk to me again.  This serves a dual purpose: 1) I don't want to hear from them and this prevents them from any rebuttal or fake apology, and 2) means they won't come back and ask questions such as "do you know who the person is," since this is not my problem.  Anyway, here are the letters

------Letter 1-----
Dear Sir or Ma’am:
            Today I
received a bill from you, concerning RMJ File # xxxxxxxxxx, and addressed to a [name similar to mine].  I am writing to inform
you that I am not the individual to whom this account belongs, and that this
person does not reside, nor have they ever resided, at my address.  I recommend that you correct this error, and
remove my address from your records.  I
also suggest that you take proper measures to ensure that this erroneous information
does not find its way onto my credit report(s).
            I will
assume that this was a bona fide error, and therefore protected under section 813C
of the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA).  However, I will treat further communication
with myself (a third party) concerning this other individual’s debts as a violation of Section 804(3)
of the FDCPA.  The only confirmation that
I require that this is understood is that I receive no further communication from your company concerning this
debt, or debts that are not mine, provided that the information attesting to
such can be properly ascertained through basic investigation of the individual’s
records (e.g. confirmation of SSN, or actual name).  Furthermore, I recommend that you retain this letter on file for future reference in order to prevent such errors from occurring.

Sincerely,

[Me]
[My address]
[More Address]
SSN: xxx-xx-####
------End of Letter 1-----

-----Letter to Experian-----
January 10,
2008
Dear Sir or Ma’am:

I am writing in follow-up to your
investigation concerning misinformation that has made it on to my Credit
Report.  The item in question appears on
the Credit Report under public records, reference #XXXXXXX.  Because I have disputed the information with you,
and you stated that you mistakenly verified that the information was correct, I
am providing you with additional information to exonerate my report.  My Social Security Number is [full social].  The [Name] for which you have placed
information on my credit report has a Social Security Number that ends in ####.

Also, your investigation of the
other Public Record, reference # XXXXXX is also incorrect for the same reason
as the previous record.  I am requesting
a reinvestigation of this matter, and that the necessary steps are taken to
correct my credit report.  Furthermore, I
request that the findings of this investigation also be provided to me, in
order to correct information that may erroneously arise in the future, or on
other credit reports.

Lastly, I am requesting that a new,
full, and corrected credit report be mailed to me at no additional charge, due
to the errors that were contained in the previous versions.  Please send the status of the correction, the
requested information, and the updated credit report to the address listed at
the top of this letter.

----End of letter to Experian-----

I just realized that the back of the return envelope for the debt collector says "Thank you for responding promptly." 

Black 6, out.

Every time that I attempt to leave the house, I find my trip delayed anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour, depending on how long I will be leaving.  This additional time can be attributed to the need to "not forget anything".  Everyone has their basic checks (wallet, watch, keys, etc.), but mine seems to go greatly beyond that.  Even though I will be returning to the apartment in 8 hours, or after a weekend, it's as though I will greatly inconvenience myself by forgetting something simple.  Usually, I can shorten this by reminding myself that not only will I be coming back soon, but anything I forget can probably be purchased at a store near where I am going.  The only easy decision is whether or not to bring the laptop, and generally, that is decided by whether I will need internet access for information.

I believe this neurosis comes from my time in the army.  There was always that need not to forget anything, primarily for two reasons.  First off, if you forgot something, someone over you made it a point to ostracize you because of it.  "You don't have a pen on you?  You're a complete screw-up."  Second, normally, when you go somewhere in the army, you will be there for a long time, and there is no way to get something that you need without bothering someone else, and that's in the best case scenario.  If you forget toothpaste before a week-long field exercise, you will have to bother someone a minimum of 14 times that week.  For me, the thing to always bring was that spare set of glasses.  God forbid that I forgot them, because I would spend a week praying daily that the pair I was wearing didn't break, proving that someone up high hates me.

Generally, everywhere I go, there is a bag of some sort with me, and I've actually noticed more and more people with backpacks, especially in NYC.  It seems that more and more people have to carry more and more things with them in order to survive, or at least perform all of their daily tasks in an efficient manner.  Also, no one wants to carry a bunch of stuff in their hand (bottle of water, snack, gum, newspaper, pens, glasses, resumes, handgun that you can't conceal in your current clothing, etc.).  Most of that stuff is in the bag that I carried to work today.  Actually, the chewing gum is in my coat, and my resume is on my thumb drive.

I have also created the term of the "drop bag".  The idea came to me when I was leaving NYC with all of my stuff, and heading to Fort Benning.  No one wants to bring two hastily-packed duffel bags into a hotel on a road trip, just to find the basic amounts of clothing.  Therefore, the drop bag contains a preselected amount of clothing, designed to last for whatever time it will be until I am unable to settle in and dump everything on the floor.  If I'm going out for a night and my car is involved, the drop bag includes a toothbrush, contact solution and case, and my glasses, and maybe a book or two.  I've been asked if this is because I expect to spend the night somewhere.  I figure that if I get stranded, tired, or end up drinking, at the very least, I don't have to wake up with dry eyes and bad breath.

The books are also an interesting point of discussion.  I have come to the point where I will not go anywhere without at least 1 or 2 books, and/or 3 magazines, even if I generally don't anticipate there being a lot of free time.  The reality of the matter is that there is normally a LOT of time to read, and every once in a while, I have a book that I tear apart like a Kleenex at a snot party, hence the need for the second book to read.

Does anyone else have this problem?  Is this the new "Did I leave the oven on?"  (which I have found surprisingly easy to do by accident)? 

Black 6, out.

Before I get into the post, I would again like to recommend "The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous & Broke" by Suze Orman, especially if you are under 30, and even more so if you are not broke.  There's a lot of info in there that, if you continue to not be broke, and/or want to stay that way, will prove to be useful as a reference in the future.

I talked about credit scores and such about a month ago, and posted a link to the website for a PBS special on credit cards (you can watch the whole special from the website).  I've been reading things from that site since.  Actually, I opened those links a month ago, and I've been reading them on my breaks at work, and closing the tabs as I go along (kinda tells you how often I actually shut down my computer).  There is a lot of insightful stuff posted along the website, such as why most credit card companies are in a few states (high usury limits in those states, and the ability to "export" interest rates that would be illegal in other states), as well as how profits are made, and the thinking behind it, and a lot of other great information.

In any case, I recently read this article, which is an excerpt from a book, that talks about debt and collections (different link to a shorter article with information), and how individuals are dragged down by it.  Don't let the first section completely turn you off if you support Clinton, because that's not the whole point (although it does stand as another example why I won't be voting for her).  The most interesting part comes when you get down to how collection agents place pressure on people, to the point of threatening individuals, and instilling general fear.  Here's an example from the article:

-----------

-------------

Messed up, huh?  Here's another:

--------------

Consider, for example, a conversation we had with "Sally," a former
Sears collection agent in the Boston area. Sally's job was to call
families that had fallen behind and to pressure them to pay up. One
incident particularly stood out in Sally's memory. When another Sears
agent threatened to repossess a mattress from a woman who was
delinquent on her payments, the customer in question stuck to her guns.
"You will not. It isn't worth anything. Besides, you can't even sell a
used mattress. It's not legal." Sally's coworker was quick on her feet.
"We'll come and get it because we can. And then, we'll set it on fire
and burn it up. It won't give us anything, but you won't have it
either." The woman caved in and sent Sears a check for $50. According
to Sally, the story was widely told and retold in her department and
praised by the department manager as an example of "real initiative."
Since we only have Sally's word, we can't confirm the facts of her
account, but it is a matter of public record that Sears has threatened
to repossess used mattresses from other families.

--------------

Now, I've never personally had any debt collectors come after me.  The idea of debt along has stopped that.  Actually, it's my love of 1) having money, and 2) only having to budget large purchases, that really keeps me clean.  That, and the fact that I genera,lly only buy stuff that I NEED that falls within a budget, or creates a reasonably manageable debt. 

However, in most cases, it's not some deadbeat that owes money.  Don't get me wrong, I know that they exist, and that they are generally very skilled at either digging themselves into situations that they can't get out of, or not really caring about the consequences.  However, most people aren't.  Furthermore, if you actually look at the business practices of creditors, you find that they actually seek out these people who are more likely to create these situations, because they are the most profitable.  See the section of the article called "Where the money is".

For example, as far as the credit companies (as opposed to, say, my bank, where I actually keep money) are concerned, I am a "deadbeat".  I generally pay off my bills in full, and seldom carry debt.  On occasion, I become a "revolver", which is someone who carries a monthly balance, which generates profits for the credit company, however I pay more than the minimum payment, which means less revenue for them.  They don't really like me.  Most of the time, if you just pay the minimum payment, you will end up paying triple the original price for the item, and if they lower the required minimum payment percentage, although it becomes "easier" to make payments, and they generate less in late fees, they will get more money over time. 

I don't get many credit card offers in the mail.  However, if you are struggling, or paying minimums, every company wants you, because they want that piece of the revenue.  They will suggest a balance transfer (which usually carries an instant 3% fee), but will give you 12 months with no interest (however, if there is a balance at the end of that time, the remaining balance gets hit with the 12 months of interest at your non-introductory rate.  Oh, and that 0% is only for balance transfers.   Any additional purchases get regular interest applied, while your payments go to pay off the balance transfer, which wasn't generating them revenue.  So, let's say that you transfer $6,000.  Then you add $180 (3%).  Now, lets say you make $1,000 in purchases almost immediately(necessary bills), but you make $3,000 in payments after that, in the next 12 months.  That last $1,000 goes completely unaffected by your payments and generates interest during the whole year, which only removes $3,000 from what wasn't generating interest. 

So, at the end of 12 months, you have a year's interest on $4,000.  And it's probably going to take you some time to pay that off.  In fact, the hardship that probably cause the original debt is probably still an issue, and generating more debt, or at least prevent complete resolution of the old debt.   Meanwhile, this happens:

-------

-------

Diabolical, isn't it.  All I can say, is educate yourself, choose wisely, and know your rights.

Black 6, out.