October 17, 2006

• Let’s see.  I guess the best thing to do is start with the weekend.  Saturday, I had Brigade Staff Duty Officer (SDO).  Basically, it’s 24 hours on call, just being at Brigade, in case anything happens.  Along with me is an NCO (SDNCO), and two enlisted soldiers that act as a runner and a driver.  When I get there at 0900, the LT from the previous night tell me that nothing has happened during his shift.  Absolutely nothing.  I think that’s pretty sweet, and expect as easy night.

  
  

  About 30 minutes later, one of the Battalion Staff Duty NCO comes by and says that the 24 hour wait is about up, and they’re going to declare a soldier AWOL.  Looks like the original incident (he missed formation) happened before the LT was on duty, so he probably had no idea of it.  We make the decision to hold off a bit, since the soldier was one of the people still in-processing.  They’re not allowed to have alcohol or leave post.  Also, the S-1 section keeps track of them, so we assume that there may be a mis-communication between the entities.

  
  

  An hour or so later, they are able to contact the soldier’s roommate, who was able to find the soldier, who was off post, in a hotel.  The battalion, gets him back, and I expect quiet.  Not much later, I get a call, and the SDNCO asks me what the number to the Chaplain is.  I ask why, and apparently in talking to the soldier, he expressed suicidal intentions (talk of suicide).  Wonderful.  I turn around to get the Chaplain’s, and I view the first problem of the day: all the listed chaplain numbers are DSN numbers, meaning that they’re great if it’s Mon – Fri, and they are in their office.  You would think that someone would understand the need for posting cell phone numbers (in my end of duty report, I made this suggestion).  I go through the roster, and find the number for the Brigade Chaplain…who is up in Germany.  Shit.  Oh, and he doesn’t have the number for the other Chaplains.  I would figure they would be on holy speed dial or something.

  
  

  Thinking rationally (probably because I’ve been playing Brain Age regularly), I call up to SETAF, to get the number of their Chaplain.  Turns out, there is a government cell phone that they pass around, depending who’s on duty.  Meanwhile, we’re also trying to call the psychiatrist, who is not in today (I’m pretty sure someone is supposed to always be on call), and there is no number to Mental Health.  The chaplain (who managed not to say his name for 6 phone calls.  Talk about Jedi mind tricks) came and talked to the soldier.  Meanwhile, we made the the decision to place guards on him, and watch him until Monday morning, until the clinic opened.  If he showed any attempts to physically harm himself, we’d just admit him to the Psych ward at the Italian hospital.  We also call the Brigade Surgeon, who tries to get a hold of the Brigade Psychiatrist.  BAsically, we’re trying to make sure that the guy is legit, and not simply trying to avoid an Article 15.

  
  

  First issue resolved, and it’s only 1100, 2 hours into my shift.  Only 22 hours left to go.  Around 1900, we get a call from a hysterical mom back in the states.  Apparently, a few nights back, her son decided to get into a fight with a bouncer at a strip club.  The bouncer is a big, black guy, supposedly with arms as big as my legs, and the kid ended up in jail, and then the hospital.  Well, the mom went to call her son, but the cell phone was with the roommate, who told her what happened.  What a way to find out.  I forget what my SDNCO did, but he got her somewhat calmed down, and he later ended up receiving a Red Cross message from her.

  
  

  By this time, I’ve knocked out the movie Mallrats, and a few games of Sudoku.  I’m contemplating sleeping, but I decide that laying down to watch a movie would be better.  Also, I decide that I want some snacks and a warm drink.  I head to the shoppette, to get some stuff, and my attempt to get some hot chocolate leads to a huge mess.  Let’s just say that I pressed a button twice, and the machine serviced the cup three times.  This again happened when I tried to fill a second cup. 

  
  

  I get back to Brigade, set up to watch Click (very good movie, especially for Sandler.  Also on the disk was a trailer for Will Smith’s new movie, The Pursuit of Happiness, which looked very powerful).  So, I’m lying down watching the movie, when at around 0240, I get a call from the MP station.  They have a soldier that was brought down there, and blew a .187 BAC.  He was brought in by a battalion staff duty NCO, and the MP’s didn’t want to release him back to the battalion, because apparently, the NCO had laid hands on him (just grabbing someone can be defined as assault), and the MP was concerned.  Turns out that the battalion command had a policy out that no one on the rear detachment was allowed while the rest of the unit was training in Germany.  This soldier stated that he had “one glass of wine” (cough**bullshit**cough).  THe unit wanted him placed in a holding cell, but the MP’s couldn’t hold him, because he hadn’t done anything illegal.  The disobeying of a lawful order was still not in their domain.  I decided to send my SDNCO to get the guy, and then hold him until the Read Detachment commander came in at 0600.

  
  

  During the same initial phone call, the MP tells me that a soldier in the one of the companies in the other battalion (same battalion as the last time) has missed formation.  When I call over to the battalion, they haven’t heard about it (probably hadn’t gotten to them from the company).  Meanwhile, I’m waiting on that info, and the company departs, so now the soldier has missed movement.  In any case,there’s nothing that I can do, so I tell the battalion to start the AWOL countdown from the time of the missed formation.

  
  

  Somewhere near the climax of the movie Click, a soldier from one of the battalions walks in to staff duty.  Apparently, their van is missing a seat, and a previous day’s staff duty had signed for the van.  Now he’s asking where the seat it.  We have no idea, on top of the fact that my SDNCO is from the transportation section, and knows that there are some serious issues with the situation, such as the fact that staff duty should not have been able to pick up someone’s vehicle in the first place.  So we start with the questions:

  
  

  -How many seats do you have?  3.
  -How many people are you taking? 4.
  -Can’t someone just sit on the floor or in a lap (realize that this is like an 8 hour drive, so that would be funnier)? No, I’m driving the Battalion Commander and the Sergeant major.
  -(I say this specifically) Well, that shouldn’t be a problem, should it?  They’re pretty close.
  -How long until you leave?  30 minutes.
  -Did the idea of prepping BEFORE the last minute ever come into your minds?  They just told me to do this right now.
  -You’re fucked.

  
  

  After that, things were pretty straight forward.  I got to finish Click, and get off duty at 0900 on Sunday.  Then, I went home and slept.

  
  

  Black 6, out.

  • 5:12 am
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