February 11, 2008

• V-Day approaches

  It’s that time of year again, huh.  Fortunately, I work in a noisy factory, sleep during the day, and have put off getting cable until the writer’s strike is over.  What this means is that I have missed all of the crappy commercials, sappy advertisements, and guilt-to-men activities that go on every year.  I have also been able to avoid couples, who I assume are only outdoors together during the day.  This could also be due to the fact that I am in Pennsylvania, and unlike NYC, no one walks around.  If I wanted to see a couple, I would have to look inside of someone else’s car, or drive to a place where couples would go.

  Some of you may have forgotten about the upcoming event, and are now running toward the nearest store or website in hopes that you can get the “perfect” gift.  This is a day generally designed to screw men over.  If you are lucky, you have create good day, which will be forgotten next week.  The worst that you can hope for is some level of damage control that at least lets you break even for the day.  Woe to those who screw this day up, because it’s going to be a while before you can fix it. 

  I was smart when I made my plans this year, because I made them early.  It took a little bit of work, and everything had to be perfect, but this plan will go exceptionally well, without breaking my wallet.  Here’s the plan:

  Don’t have a girlfriend.

  I seemed to have executed this one perfectly.  It’s very straight forward, and for most guys, it’s very easy to accomplish.  In fact, some find that putting considerable work into getting one only results in the same outcome, anyway, so why try. 

  For those of you who are in my shoes, and would like to better your relationship position, I have some sound advice:
  

  Black 6, out.

  • 2:41 am
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