April 2, 2007

• We now continue with the adventures of Pat and Nick.  First off, let's go to the quote that Sharon (aka justhopingnow) left:
  "I would remember going to the O club and watching them
  latch on the guys.  It was so funny.  Of course, you go back months
  later and guess what they are still there."

  So the day after our night out, Nick woke up late and went to the PX to get some food.  As he walked in, guess who he ran into.  The dancer for the previous night.  Se was on her way out, carrying Popeye's.  Like I told Nick:  If they speak English, they are probably used to dealing with soldiers, and have probably dated a couple.

  Now, when Nick and I started the night out on Saturday, he asked me what I had been up to that day.  I told him that I had gone out to the Armani outlet store.  The things that I described to him made him think, as he would later tell me, that I was drunk, high, and on crack. 

  Before I go any further, you need a quick economics lesson.  In Italy, everything is taxed.  The tax here is 20%.  However, for people stationed here, there's a process where you can have the tax taken off if your purchase exceeds approximately $200.  You have to go to the store, and get the items that you want.  They then put these items aside, write you an invoice, and you take this back to the base.  The invoice has the price on it, minus the tax, and how much the tax would be.  You then take this to the bank, and pay the tax-free amount, and get a check.  You take this to the UTEP office, and they do some paperwork, and give you a sealed envelope (which contains the check and teh paperwork.  You then take this back to the store, and get the items.  Aside from 2 trips to the store, the process can be done in 15 minutes.  Also, for people traveling to Italy, if the store participates in Global Refund, you can get the tax back when you get to the airport in the states.

  I also told him about the prices.  A suit with an original price of 600 Euro was going for around 225 Euro (roughly $341).  Then they take the tax off.  Remember, these are Armani suits.  Suits that cost roughly $2000 in the states.  Like I said, he didn't believe me.  Since I had to go back out there to pick up what I purchased, I offered to take him with me. 

  When we got there, I don't think that things had really settled in for him.  He didn't really believe me.  So we go to where the suits are, and he starts looking at them, and I show him where the price is on the tag.  He still thinks that I am lying to him.  He looks at a couple, and then he finds one that is labeled for $1995.  He shows it to me, and I stop him.
  Me: Where are you seeing that price?
  Him: Right here (showing me a price tag that is under the lapel).
  Me: That's not the price.  The price is here (showing him the correct tag).
  Him: You're f**king kidding me.

  The suit was apparently originally headed for Saks Fifth Avenue.  It had all the "Saks" tags and patch inside.  It had a MSRP in dollars on that other tag.  However it was available here for 235 Euro.  And it fit him.  Nick developed somewhat of a nervous twitch while we were there.  He felt like this was illegal and crazy; entirely unbelievable.  I then showed him over to the ties (which go for 25 Euro), the shirts (which were around 40 Euro), and the socks (6 Euro a pair).  He had to stop himself from buying jeans (70 Euro).

  Nick told me about the one time he went into an Armani store.  Said that he was there for about 3 seconds.  Prices so high, he thought it was a serial number.  We go up to the register to get my stuff, and ring him up.  He still shaking from resisting the urge to blow a paycheck in here.  And he's watching as things ring up at prices that seem sickeningly illegal.  Once taxes were removed, it came to 298.66 Euro.

  When we left, he had to smoke a cigarette.

  We got in the car, and he immediately called his brother in the states to tell him about this.  His brother hardly believed it.  Measurement exchanges and money transfers may be taking place in the near future.  Meanwhile, on the drive back, some interesting conversation was spawned:

  Him: I'm going to buy a suit every month.
  Me: Yeah, I'm definitely coming back here when we get paid on the 15th.
  Him: Now I just need a place to wear it.
  Me:  You can pretty much wear it anywhere and fit in with high society.
  Him: True.
  Me: You couldn't wear it to a job interview or work.  They would see that and give you a pay cut.
  Him: I'm going to have to get renter's insurance for my clothes now.  I decided not to before, but now it's worth it.  I mean, to replace it would be the full amount.  Actually, if I bought 3 suits, it would be worth more than my car.  I'd need the insurance if anyone ever broke into my house.
  Me: Yeah, that would be worth more than my car.
  Him: I just can't think of too many places to wear it.
  Me: You could just go and stand on Wall Street.
  Him: Yeah, you would fit in.  Just stand there.
  Me: If people ask you why you just stand there, you can say, "I made too much money today.  I'm taking a break to save on taxes."
  Him: Women would be chasing you down the street.  "Yeah, why don't we get something to eat.  Maybe McDonald's (playing on the fact that we would not actually be rich)."
  Me: "Yeah, I had steak and lobster all last week, and it gets quite boring."  How would you explain the car?
  Him: "My Ferrari was stolen, and this is a loner."  "I get so tired of my expensive cars."  "Do you like to walk?"

  My purchase consisted of a suit (I needed something that could be worn to a wedding), tie and cummerbund combo, and two ties.  Total without tax was 298.33 Euro.  I probably would have purchased more, but I was completely unprepared for what I found when I first got there.  I will be back a couple of times.  Now I gust have to get the pants tailored.  And so you don't ask, here are some pics:
  

  Black 6, out.

  • 1:52 pm
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